this one goes to eleven eleven eleven

bear told me that in my pre-sleep delirium early friday morning i said "i like my birthday because everyone has to be nice to me." fortunately for all parties involved, everyone was nice to me. thank you so much to everyone who took the time to send me birthday wishes, cards, and treats last week! my birthday was made extra special by your thoughtfulness, and i really can't say thank you enough! i was completely overwhelmed by the magic of my triple eleven birthday. and by magic, i mean food consumption.

my beautiful, red-headed sister drove seven hours from ontario just to spend the weekend with me, and that was really the best present i could have ever wished for.

when are you too old to be pretending you're on top model?
(also, look at the SWEET fox bag bear bought me for my birthday!)

i'm pretty sure i ate enough food to feed a developing nation over the last three days, but guess what? i'm eating a smuggled coffee crisp right now because i feel like it. smuggled treats just taste so much better.

we kicked off the feeding frenzy on friday night at grumpy's - as bear would say, it was pork o'clock.

remember when i was a vegetarian for ten years? hilarious.

he's just preparing for hibernation ok?

saturday afternoon drea and i went shopping and then met up with bear for lunch at wally's. bear took me here for the first time after my "unpleasant procedure" because i was hysterical with starvation after not eating (because of the procedure prep) for almost two days and all i wanted was a fresh, delicious turkey sandwich. aside from the pumpkin patch turkey hoagie, which was also consumed in a fit of hysterical starvation, it was the best turkey sandwich i've ever eaten. nothing cures hysterical starvation like a turkey sandwich.

our signature pose.

wally's sandwiches are called "hogs" and they come in small, medium, and large. this is a medium. it's about a square foot of sandwich:

by this point we had exceeded the recommended monthly intake of meat, so we skipped dinner and put together a picnic of snacks including the long awaited return of the li'l smokey! how i've missed you old friend...

then we had cake. it was my birthday ok? i'm not gonna NOT have cake. don't judge me.

yes, we match. gross.

drea treated me to a manicure on sunday and we spent the rest of the day lying around watching drag race/increasing our sass levels. you may be asking yourself, "is it possible that you went a day without gorging yourself to the brink of death?" the answer is no my friends. the answer is no.

deep in the wilds of eastern pennsylvania there is fabled "pizza shop in the country" called snuzzles. they don't have a sign and they don't advertise. it's literally in the middle of nowhere. why would anyone drive to the middle of nowhere for pizza and hoagies?

this is why.

if you've never eaten a stromboli the size of a newborn, you've never been to snuzzles.

i really had no idea what we were getting ourselves into. this thing easily weighed eight pounds and could probably feed a small family. i still have half of it in the fridge and i've already eaten it for three meals - i think it's actually regenerating itself in there. our waitress said in six years she's only ever seen five people finish one. bear came pretty close and was very proud of himself.

i've never been more aroused.

today i felt like pure death, but it was totally worth it.

i was basically a disaster when i had to say goodbye to drea, so it was a good thing i had a fridge full of stromboli to ease the/cause more pain.

come baaaaaaack!

although my post-birthday depression spiral has already taken hold, it really was the best birthday i could have hoped for. and i haven't even told you about my presents yet!

thank you again for all the sweet birthday wishes!

love and food comas,
so pauvre