*hysterical sobbing*
i want to be with people who don't say "wudder" instead of water and "pretty many" instead of a lot. fucking pennsylvania. i HAD to move to the weirdest state possible. i do, however, enjoy using the word "hoagie", so i guess it's not all bad.
my trademark bizarrely specific food cravings for things that don't exist in this country are constant, and i keep saying things like "this would never happen if your money was more than one colour" and "in canada things make sense". i don't think i'm very good at adapting and changing.
that's the stuff.
the worst part is that no one gets it. they don't know the pleasures of cheese curds and gravy smothered over french fries. they've never known the joy of walking out of a doctor's office without being handed an invoice. and for the love of all that is good and pure, it's a toque not a beanie. BEANIE??? jesus. what am i doing here??? oh right, bear. i love you honey!
some things that are good about living in america:
- every website ever ships to america. i used to spend four hours shopping for boots, get to the shipping information and get the ol' "we're sorry, but we currently do not ship internationally." and if they do ship to canada it's a thousand dollars in shipping PLUS duty. yes, duty. fuck you websites!
- butter isn't $5. it just isn't. it used to cost me $30 to buy cupcake supplies, now it's like 2 cents.
- "premium" ice creams aren't a hundred dollars a pint.
did i mention i'm currently on my second gin mojito? because i am... whoops!
- you can "chili cheese" every food.
- applebee's half price appetizer/margarita menu.
- ok, most things are food related...
- people get really excited when i say "eh?" even bear says it. it's cute.
ANYWHO... i forget what i was even trying to achieve when i started this post. but hooray for gin! and also, i've been lusting after all the AMAZING canadiana in the touch the dutch etsy shop! seriously, flowers made of CBC logos?! bob and doug brooch??!!! BUY ME ALL THE THINGS!
true patriot love... and gin!
love drunken pauvre
10 comments:
Secret Order of the Beaver Legionnaires?? Christmas 2012 shopping--done!
I think that you should come up to your beloved homeland and bring your american bear with you, and we will will party it up for a couple days!
I lovvvvee the CBC brooch!!
<3
I love all the stump inspired things in that etsy shop. Canada, the land of stumps.
The money looks real purdy all fanned out like that.
At first I felt sad reading your post, but then the drunker you got the better it got;) When I lived in Korea/Taiwan I missed real cheese, you know the yellow stuff not the processed the crap out of it "orange stuff" which we in NZ call "American Cheese" but my American friends never took too kindly to that.
I have always been a little confused by the fact american notes are all the same colour - I get confused enough as it is without having no colours to clarify!!
Also nice poutine reference - a Canadian friend here introduced us to that, I'm totally not sold on the idea. Rich, however, is a true convert.
Also I have always wondered, what the hell is a hoagie exactly?
I love you too honey.
I'm sorry you have to deal with so much tomfoolery to be with me.
Beanies?! Crazy!
I loved this post. The great white north misses you too.
Boo for being homesick! I'm glad there are a few things you like about America though :) I can imagine is would be REALLY HARD to acclimate to a completely new country.
cheese curds....hehehe that made me giggle. i would love to walk out of a dr. office and never have to deal with paying, i want!!!!! honey, people all over this god forsaken land are weirdos they are just different depending on where you live. here in the crazy west, there are a LOT of crazy people on drugs or people that are perma-fried and just out right crazy because of regan closing all the crazy houses and putting them on the street. we say dude a lot and hella and are wanna be hippies :) but that is still no reason for you to not come live with me and drink with me!
xo,mojitos
cb
you said duty. hhehhe.
I always compare CT to Texas and complain about how these weird ass northerners think 40 degrees is warm and argyle is attractive. People be strange yo.
P.S. Timortens Timartens (which is what Sam insisted it was called when he was four) changed their sizes. A medium is a small now, yo. I don't know WTF that was for. 20 years of ordering a medium with milk and now I'm supposed to say small with milk? My mouth can't even do it.
But still, come home. Because WTF is pretty many? Die.
Lerve.
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