tim hortons basically ruined all other donuts for me and i will accept no substitutes. i mean, i 'll eat the substitutes, but i won't be happy about it.
bear recently pointed out that i have more rules about donuts than almost anything else. (i have a lot of rules about a lot of things, and it's not my fault america doesn't know how to make donuts.) so, in honour of fauschnaut day i've compiled a comprehensive list for future donut reference:
1. holes: if a donut does not have a hole it MUST be filled with something. there really is no point otherwise.
2. fillings: if a donut IS filled with something i should be experiencing said filling for the entire duration of my donut and not questioning its whereabouts. FILL IT.
3. glaze: if a donut is glazed i should be able to see glaze deposits settled in the crevasses of the donut's surface area. if i can't, there isn't enough glaze.
4. sprinkles: don't be afraid to use them. and by "use them" i mean USE THEM.
5. mishaps: if the donut's frosting sticks to the wax paper and peels completely off when i unwrap my donut, you best be providing me with a new donut.
6. maple dip: it's delicious.
those are the rules america. please abide.
the following is an example of what all donuts should aspire to be:
1. heart shaped.
2. pink frosting.
3. heart shaped sprinkles.
4. loaded with custard.
the "cupid's choice" from dunkin' donuts got it right - so obviously they only make them once a year...
all i'm asking for is everything i want. i really don't think that's unreasonable.
love so pauvre
8 comments:
ok dude. i don't get it. you realize that grocery store donuts in the states are like, a squadrillion times gooder than timortens timartens... right?
dude... come on. come on, dude.
i don't understand the question and i won't respond to it.
Normally I do EVERYTHING in my power to always agree with brilliant and beautiful wife . . . but I'm with Punch on this one. Tim Hortons are WAY Better than Dunkin' Donuts. I'll give you that. But nothing beats bakery fresh babies from the grocery store or Egypt Star. Your love of all that is bad-good is clearly fogging up your judgment about what is actually good-good. :P
My favorite thing about the "donut rules" is how there's a special "donut logic" that also extends to other desserts. For instance, I've been instructed that Cream Puffs and Eclairs are awful because they are cream filled and covered with chocolate frosting and/or powdered sugar but are NOT as sweet and delicious as donuts, and so they shouldn't even exist. I cannot argue with this, because the next Cream Puff I ate after having this train of thought laid out for me was immediately unsatisfying.
So in donut world, no place has better donuts than Round Rock Donuts. Thats just a fact. I grew up in Round Rock, Texas and ate those donuts almost everyday before school and they are delicious. They were even featured on some donut travel show. Some day I will take you to this glorious house of donuts and we shall consume mass quantities of baked goods and was shall be happy forever.
Stop by and enter my Vedette giveaway!
twists count!!! i won't be silenced.
p.s. meet you at the bus.
Donuts really aren't a big thing in NZ. But on my recent trip I was taken to Krispy Kreme by my American friends and it was pretty rad. They even had seasonal donuts for Chinese New Year:)
i agree! you gotta have fillings! boston cream all the way!
Oh man, I feel the same way. I loveee me some tims donuts. Actually I think I came to love them on a trip to ontario where daley and i lived with you guys for a week or so. I love me a chocolate glazed or a walnut crunch, maybe even a box of 40 timbits.
And who seriously makes a donut without a hole NOT stuffed with filling? the fuck is the point of that? americans.
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